The Old Grimey E​.​P.

by XfrankgrimesX

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




The first release by Christchurch reprobates XfrankgrimesX tries to explain their discontent with the twenty first century through the medium of powerviolence, discussing important subjects such as hippies that won't leave your lounge, people stealing lighters, shitty chocolate bars, the disappointment of methamphetamine and people who won't shut up about the weather, gardening and drinking fucking coffee.

Album is free to download (though we'd love a donation to our 'getting wasted' fund) and comes with all the album artwork if you want to make your own hardcopy, or just check out our sweet collage, so do that instead of downloading every track, it just makes more sense.


released February 10, 2011

Recorded and mastered by Mikey Fordham

XfrankgrimesX is:

Aidan - vocals
Ben Brown - vocals
Ben R - Guitar
Sonny - Bass
Lance - Drums



all rights reserved


XfrankgrimesX Christchurch, New Zealand

Bored one afternoon a group of friends decided to start a powerviolence band where they could write songs about subjects that mattered to them. No metaphors, no politics, no poetic bullshit. Emerging from the Christchurch earthquakes and being influenced by bands like Spazz and Charles Bronson they have played up and down New Zealand, disappointing people just as life has disappointed them. ... more

contact / help

Contact XfrankgrimesX

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Flakes of shit
Crumbliest, flakiest chocolate all over my floor.
As far as chocolate bars go, flakes are very poor.
Crumbs in a bag!
Track Name: Just because I smoke weed doesn't mean I like stoner rock
Smoking bongs, riding dragons, playing guitar on top of mountains, on weed.
Track Name: Gnome raper
When I'm old I swear I'll never garden.
I'd rather take viagra and wait to see if my cock will harden.
Why do they do it?
Why do they talk about it all day?
I'll never fucking garden cause it's really fucking gay.
Track Name: P is a stupid name for a drug
Didn't party all night, didn't lose the plot.
Smoked a lot of weed and played xbox.

Watching TV late last night they said meth was an epidemic.
If it's so popular, maybe we should go and try it.

If I could say one thing it's that meth is underwhelming.
Track Name: Overcast with a chance of shut the fuck up
Stop talking about the weather, I don't care if it's rain.
I don't care about the cloud cover, why are you such a pain?
If you mention it one more time, I'll go fucking insane.
Is there really nothing else going on inside your brain?
Track Name: Neon bastard
Just walking across the fucking road,
Swerved at by a living, breathing chode.
Dan sent out his fluro attack.
Who knew the chode had just been smoking crack?

Fucking hardout!
Fucking hardout as!
What the fuck bro?
That dude's a fucking spazz

Fat fuck in an orange hi-vis vest
Screaming as we came out of swamp fest.
We just went there to see a show,
Instead a dude got mad and punched out Ben's window.
Track Name: Our house aint cosmic corner bro
Harshing my mellow, harshing my vibe.
You look like one of those cunts from the tribe.
Hummus stains all over my floor.
You can't have a cone, I don't care if you're poor.

Cut off your dreads, steal your power.
You smell like butts bro, take a shower.
Fucking hippies, time to go.
Our house aint cosmic corner bro.
Track Name: Shame, you're christian
Mum and dad and two kids
coming out of church when
I'm going to Mcdonalds,
drive on past and yell at them.

god's not real.

Youth group packing up
Saturday at 10 pm,
after some jesus shit
we walk on past and say to them

god's not real.

Guy standing on a street
holding up a sign.
Says that Jesus loves me,
I tell him that's a lie because

god's not real.
Track Name: Philosophical development of pubic hair

I was just smoking green,
Now theres a van following me.
Paranoia, hide my weed.
Canine search for my misdeeds.

"What did you do, we want to help".
Keep my story straight while their faces melt.

This is way too buzzy for me, I just want to smoke weed and watch TV.

Cops on acid, what the fuck is going on?
Track Name: Panini faget
Hey girlfriiend lets go and get a panini,
I'd rather go to a gay bar and drink a fucking martini.
Lets hang out in our little cafe scene,
and be like everyone else getting high on caffeine.

Paninis are gay sandwiches.
Track Name: Just because I think periods are gross doesn't make me sexist you fat, ugly bitch
I tolerated you having the vote,
I tolerated your cute little rock bands,
but this is too much

Menstrual fluid is not something to be celebrated.
Feminism isnt found in a silicon cup.
Don't you get it?

Im not brainwashed or a tool of the patriarchy
Just because I think that periods are kinda yucky.

It's fucking gross, use something else.
Go fuck yourself, cause i won't if you use moon cups
Track Name: V.O.L.T. (victim of lighter theft)
Where the fuck's my fucking Bic?
Give it back you fucking dick.
I've searched every nook and cranny,
I even searched Dakota's Fanny.

I just want to smoke a bong,
this fucking shit is fucking wrong.
There's no lighters in the couch,
but at least I found a pouch

Give it back!
Track Name: Weenie roast
Talking to you was awkward enough,
til you pointed out who your girlfriend was.
Dan looked at me with a smile on his face,
and I realised where I knew her from.

Spitroasted by a dwarf.

I cant hear what you're saying anymore.
and I cant think about anything else.
What would you think if I told you?
What if I just blurted it out?
Track Name: Swords on the forge
I dont want to listen to music in the lounge.
I dont want to go have a ciggie outside.
I dont want to talk shit in the hallway.
I dont want to have sex in the bathroom.

Swords on the forge!

Kitchen party,
wheres the knives?
Fuck yous guys,
these are all mine.
Track Name: Funemployment
Smoke some weed,
watch TV,
go to sleep,

Unemployment is the life for me.
When there's no work, my whole day is free.